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 19:52 | 1/Apr/2008 | 12 Comment(s)
on LAZINESS…

 WRITING ABOUT LAZINESS…

 

So…writing after a long time...no...No...I wasn’t busy. I was neither ill nor gone into coma or sanyas…but I was just lazy…yes, lazy…we all get lazy for something or other .I am as common human being as u all. This time I got lazy to peep into my own heart or mind. Whatever u say…to think about my emotions…my feelings…huh.

      There is so much to write about. Beauty,morality,truth,lie,stories,everyday happenings, anectodes,unhappy events,inspiring stories, philosophy, humorous ones, poetry, nature religion, …..The list goes unending…but I got lazy…

      Sometimes it is for bathing, especially on Sundays but that laziness is to hear mom’s all   Bad words that she keeps stored for me. I love them…

       Sometimes I m lazy to drive…I feel like pushing the vehicle hard. Its speed kills me with boredom.all the passersby seem to b running when I am standing there waving goodbye.

       Sometimes it’s for talking…that day is hell for my family. Not a single word dares to pass through my lips. The silence and my looks can send anyone to church for confessions…but it ends as I wake up next day.

      Sometimes it’s for eating …this makes my mom happy. She thinks I m on dieting to reduce some...No way!

     Sometimes it’s for sleeping…ever imagine! But I get bored by it too…and I stand in balcony watching stars...Until I see something fearful [bats, or my fellow companion `lizard`, when start for his evening walk after dinner…he leaves the wall and go for floor. I think he likes my tiles better…]

Then its turn for thinking…doesn’t all the philosophers and great thinkers ever tire? I get so exhausted by thinking about my small and simple life… and here they are thinking about others life, country and world…

   This time it was for writing… I felt leaked out. All the ideas have started their fight, which one to go first…let them continue...My laziness hasn’t ended…I think, I will enjoy my laziness for sometime more…maybe I will get promoted to the post of the person who when his house burns down, gives missed calls to fire station and hopes that they will call back…

pray my laziness end quickly before i become too lazy to live...

 

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 09:58 | 11/Mar/2008 | 30 Comment(s)
one life isnt enough...

One life isn’t enough.........

Up there I view myself roaming about clouds,

Betting on self for racing with birds.

All the mighty and small,

I see as equal, as pictures roll.

One life isn’t enough, dear...

There’s so much to do before the world see my rear!

Down there I view myself dipping deep and deep,

I touch; I feel those slimy cute fish,

Red and blue and green,

Making rainbows with each bubble they throw.

One life isn’t enough, dear...

There’s so much to do before the world see my rear!

Walking through knee length grasses,

Breeze whispers into my ears, their dreams.

I close my eyes gently,

And feel the voice of silence.

One life isn’t enough, dear...

There’s so much to do before the world see my rear!

I see my parents walk through the street,

Head held high, no lines on forehead.

Tears of happiness rolling down their cheeks,

Of living their life and got salvation in me.

One life isn’t enough, dear...

There’s so much to do before the world see my rear!

Fingers intermingled, pace too slow to reach,

Moonlight sparkling the waves as they kiss our feet.

I met myself inside out,

Wishing each moment to stand still.

One life isn’t enough, dear...

There’s so much to do before the world see my rear!

I hear children cry, mothers scream,

“Raise us up; give us a hug of love,”

All they need is a tiny portion of my life,

But here I am to give you my whole.

One life isn’t enough, dear...

There’s so much to do before the world see my rear!

                                                                       

 

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 19:53 | 9/Mar/2008 | 10 Comment(s)
I lost it………

I lost it………

 

What if I forget u?i wondered, as I looked at my own reflection in mirror. I shuddered. Who knows what is in for me in tomorrow’s bag.

              I just happened to read an article .It was about a lady who looks after her mother who is a patient of Alzheimer’s disease. It was not about looking after ur mother but its about living the life facing the truth.

              Ur own mother with whom u have shared ur whole life no longer recognizes u. She no longer smiles at u with recognition of being the twinkle of her eye. U sit there, all alone, remembering those days when u shared ur joys, ur victories, ur falls, ur jealousies, ur hatred ,ur upset day at school, or college, or job and there she stares out of window at nothing.

           She no longer remembers anything about u or anyone, even herself. When u return home after a whole day and as u start to speak, her face appears blank. it hurts u, it frustrates u .u wish to cry in her lap but she cannot console u. u feel so lonely…

           It is easy to look after ur loved one but its more tough to fight ur tears and love her till end…but as u look deep into her eyes, u will recognize the love …the same love that she will always keep within her heart for u…

             What if u forget urself, ur loved ones?...leave it. Express ur love to ur loved ones before its too late…!I am going for some chitchatting  with my mom as she prepares the dinner…

 

 

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 09:37 | 3/Mar/2008 | 2 Comment(s)
ITS WAR........!

It’s WAR

It all starts the moment sun peeps out from his blanket,

“Wake up, dear, wake up”oh! Don’t moms ever tire?

Two minutes more, I plead.

It is a lost game I am trying to hang on.

I pull myself to floor, now it’s for brushing!

Oh god! I know it’s gonna be for a bath just after that....

She mutters angry words, she murmurs,

I go on my own speed.

It’s not that easy you see,

There’s newspaper to put your head in,

All with her hot cup of coffee to go with.

But, why doesn’t she understand that?

Wait, it has started all again, now it’s my shirt though.

She never hears as I plead for jeans all torn at knees.

Now what if I color my hair a bit here, a bit there?

It’s cool! But her head just boils over, as I say!

I throw tantrums, go on sulking,

Vowing not to speak to her ever, ever...

I run out to play....

As I fall down, my knees bleed, my throat aches,

This is a bad world out there....

As I return head down all weary eyed,

I see her standing there at door steps;

A smile passes my lips as I see her face,

For her I am the sweetest thing that ever happened;

And for me, you bet; it’s always going to be her....

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 08:35 | 1/Mar/2008 | 4 Comment(s)
sleep...

                        SLEEP

She smiled and walked away;

I tugged on my blanket a little hard.

My forehead wrinkled to form zigzag lines,

Eyelids tried TO GIVE A TOUGH BATTLE.

I TRIED TO RUB MY SELF ON SOFT BED,

FELT ITS WARMTH ALL AROUND ME.

A LITTLE MORE, I THOUGHT,

BUT SHE TEASED ME AND RAN AWAY.

I THREW MY ARMS IN AIR,

BUT SHE SLIPS IN BETWEEN MY CLOSED FINGERS.

I OPENED ONE EYE TO CATCH HER AS SHE PLAYS,

SHE ELUDES ALL MY TRICKS.

 SHE WANTS ME TO GET UP,

TO HUG THE NEW DAY, WHO WAITS FOR ME.

I PLAY ALL TRICKS WITH THIS NEW DAY,

AS MY SWEET SLEEP PLAYS WITH ME.

I THINK WAITING ALL THE DAY LONG,

MAKES SLEEP ALL SO ENTICING TILL NIGHT.

NIGHT COMES WITH SLOW STEPS,

ALONG COMES SHE, WHISPERING INTO MY EARS........

 

 

 

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 09:10 | 24/Feb/2008 | 5 Comment(s)
Managing expenses in rs.1500…

Managing expenses in rs.1500…

 

Ever thought of managing your expenses of a whole month just by rs.1500? And still successfully save about 700-800? The thought itself shocked me. When I returned home I asked my mom the same question. She said you have to, this is life…The attendant in my clinic does this so coolly and still manages to wear a smile and joke about as easily as you breathe.

      Her husband had left her for another woman. She speaks about him with anger and tears. The tears were for her own fate. She brings up her two children, educating them. Her elder son is studying in a municipality organized boarding school. She speaks about sending him twenty rupees as pocket money. The money is spent in calling home, when he feels home sick. Some times when he cries for visiting her and his younger brother she tries her best to refrain him. He is only in eighth Std...

     Here we argue all our penal codes with our parents for a raise in our pocket money, leave alone any chance of saving something…

 

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 21:12 | 22/Feb/2008 | 3 Comment(s)
simply driving...

                                Simply driving…

I wanted to close my eyes, but u shouldn’t, right? The strong wind caressed my face. It calms u down after the hard day u just lived. It makes u feel that this is the smoothest part of your life (without consideration to our roads) with happiness in your each breath. You begin to whistle latest tune…smile on your lips…hey, cutei!!! You give a wink…and move on…

         This is not so easy. The moment you accelerate, adrenaline rushes within you. The turns you make keeping a rise on speed, moves you calculate in your mind to over take the person in front, and somebody should just have a look at your face the moment you do so…it’s nothing less than Oscar…but then suddenly you pull the break….

       Huh…your loved one screeches and comes to stop. You mutter all the bad words under your breathe and give a sly look side ways and put on the accelerator again. You thank and argue with god at the same time for all this. Let it be…and you rush on again, to face all the mixture of feelings next day!!!

   Now something about driving I have read somewhere” the main difference between men’s and women’s driving is that for women vehicle is just a medium to reach at the destination easily, while for men it is a part of their own body” how much it suits my taste I cant really say, I am confused!!!

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 08:38 | 14/Feb/2008 | 3 Comment(s)
just twosteps more...

Just two steps more...

 The twilight started to fade,

It gave way to palette of yellow and range of oranges

. We had been walking all the path,

 All alone with each other...

 Ring fingers intermingled;

 U stopped there.

 Did I do something that unforgivable?

 U looked away,

 Silence answered it all.

 Still u lowered your head down.

I lost in front of your acceptance of defeat.

 I pleaded with my tears.

 Not wanting to let you go,

 Why can’t I be there with you?

Then a smile passed her lips.

 “You won, dear” her eyes twinkled

 And she closed her eyes.

 I was left to fight with loneliness, all alone.

After all these years, now I understood,

 I really won...rhe pain of loneliness!

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 19:52 | 10/Feb/2008 | 10 Comment(s)
FEW BANANAS...AND PHONE CALLS...

FEW BANANAS...AND PHONE CALLS…

 

The rain slashed itself on to plane glass. It just came with so force as if determined enough for a suicide. Anyway, its there choice, I thought, as my eyes wandered aimlessly, they rested calmly on the front seaters.

Eyes cannot work alone, so I sent my ears along with them. The father and two children were on their way back home from a visit to native place, I supposed. They were thinking of having a lunch. They had brought half a dozen of bananas with them.

They each picked up one.

My eyes rested for a while but u cannot put ears to sleep so easily. As they finished eating one, the younger one stretched his hands for another one. But it was stopped in its way. Father said, “Let’s keep the rest for your mom. They are very sweet, she will love to have one.” he put them away and brought another dozen for children.

        I could hear his phone calls to the children’s mother every four hours. He just enquired about food and weather and health. What is to happen within four hours? This is just a show off. My mind lured away, disgusted…

Then it dawned upon me. This is love! The man was in late fifties. His marriage must have been arranged by his parents but he and his wife has lived all their life with passion and love. He phoned her because he missed her. All his thoughts were on her. My heart felt happy. Love always makes u so…

 

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